


Still I can't let go

by Glitterwriter



Series: Glam 100 Prompts [11]
Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Sauli Koskinen RPF, Tommy Ratliff (Musician)
Genre: Friendship, Heartbreak, Hurt, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-21
Updated: 2013-04-21
Packaged: 2017-12-09 02:41:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/769019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glitterwriter/pseuds/Glitterwriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Glam100 Prompt #80: Dance Party</p><p>This is the sequel to  <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/695408">The End Of The Road</a> and <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/742136"> My Heart Is Lonely </a>still very angsty.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Still I can't let go

Thanks to [](http://leela-cat.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://leela-cat.livejournal.com/)**leela_cat** for your words!

 

“Here you are!” 

Sauli startled when he heard Tommy’s voice.He closed his eyes and cursed under his breath. Tommy was not supposed to be here. There was this dance party, he should have been there. Why was he here?

“Sauli? Are you packing?” 

_ Fuck! _

Sauli took a deep breath and turned around with a smile. “Hi, Tommy! I thought you would be at the party?” 

Tommy snorted. “Yeah, because I **love** to dance!” 

He stepped closer to Sauli. “Don’t try to change the subject. Are you packing?” 

Sauli shrugged and nodded.

Tommy’s eyes went wide. “Does Adam know that?” 

~  ♥ ~

Sauli sighed and let his head fall back. “Tommy, why are you here?” 

“Sauli, stop changing the subject! Does Adam know, you are leaving?” 

Sauli bit his lip. “Maybe.” 

He closed his eyes for a second and scratched over his neck. “See, Tommy, I need to get away for a while. Adam knows that. He just doesn’t know when it will happen.” 

Tommy rolled his eyes, barely able to hold back his anger. “Sauli, this is not a good idea! You shouldn’t do that behind his back. You know that!” 

Sauli turned away and continued packing his clothes and boots.

~  ♥ ~

Tommy got right behind him and put a hand on Sauli’s shoulder. Sauli moved away and Tommy’s hand fell down.

“Sauli?” 

Sauli didn’t answer and just continued packing. Tommy could feel his anger rising. 

“Sauli, stop this and talk to me!” 

When Sauli still didn’t react, Tommy pulled at his arm, until he was facing him. Tommy’s breath was caught in his throat when he saw tears running down Sauli’s face. 

“Tommy, I need to go. I really need to go. Please, understand.” Sauli’s voice was barely above a whisper. 

“But you will make things worse, when you leave now.” 

~  ♥ ~

Sauli shook his head. “They are already bad, it can’t get worse.” 

Tommy pulled Sauli closer and Sauli let his head rest against Tommy’s shoulder. 

“What happened, Sauli? I thought you were both fine?” 

Sauli nodded against Tommy’s shoulder. “We are fine, nothing happened.” 

“So why are you leaving?” 

“Tommy, you know why I have to go. You were here, you know the reasons.”

Tommy snorted. “That doesn’t mean, I understand any of them.” 

Sauli looked up at Tommy. “I don’t want to talk about it. I just want to go.” 

He angrily wiped the tears away and turned back. 

~  ♥ ~

Tommy watched him packing. Sauli closed his suitcase and started towards the door. 

“What about me? Us?” Tommy whispered when Sauli reached out for the doorknob. 

“Tommy, I can’t…” 

“So, when you told me, you loved me, what did that even mean? Did **I** ever mean anything to you?” Tommy still whispered, pushing his words out of his mouth.

Sauli let the suitcase go, but didn’t turn around. “Tommy this is not about you and me.” 

Tommy snorted. “Yeah, I know, this is just Sauli being selfish and leaving all people who love him behind. I get it. I do!” 

~  ♥ ~

Sauli turned around at that. He all but run back to Tommy and pulled him in his arms. Tommy shuddered against Sauli. They were holding into each other, trying desperately to calm down. Sauli pulled away and kissed Tommy lightly on his lips. 

“This is not me leaving you, Tommy. This is me taking a break. I need that, so I will be able to come back. If I stay I will eventually leave and never come back.” He sighed and took Tommy’s face in his hands. “Let me go Tommy, because I really want to come back to you.”

~  ♥ ~

Tommy closed his eyes against the tears. He was holding tight into Sauli, his hands gripping Sauli’s arms. “This is stupid. I don’t want you to go. Why should this be the right way to handle all this bullshit?”

Sauli sighed. “Tommy, I can’t hurt him like that. I don’t know how to handle this.” He gestured between them. “He doesn’t know about us. I didn’t tell him, because it didn’t matter. We didn’t break up because of you. But he might think that this was the reason.” 

Sauli stopped and stared at Tommy. “I can’t hurt him like that.” 

~  ♥ ~

Tommy’s grip loosened. “So you decided it’s better to run away and leave me behind? I thought we were done with ignoring what is between us?” 

Sauli shook his head. “I don’t want to ignore it. I love you. I don’t know how this can work out? How can we be together without hurting him? Tell me Tommy, because I don’t see a way.” 

Tommy put his hands on Sauli’s shoulders and pulled him closer. He leaned his forehead against Sauli’s and gazed into his eyes. “I won’t let you go again. Do you hear me? You have to stay.” 

~  ♥ ~

Sauli’s eyes filled with tears again. He shook his head. “I can’t hurt him, Tommy. He is a part of me forever. I can’t lose him.” 

“You won’t lose me.” 

Sauli and Tommy jumped apart and turned around towards the voice. Adam was standing in the threshold. He looked tired, the flight was long. 

“What?” Sauli’s voice trembled. 

Adam let his bag fall to the floor and walked over to Sauli. He hugged him tight. “You will never lose me, baby. Not over this, not over anything.” 

Sauli sobbed into Adam’s shoulder while Adam and Tommy stared at each other. 

 

 

 

[](http://glam-100.livejournal.com/211409.html)

**Author's Note:**

> I can't really say where this came from and I don't know where it goes to. But this story just wants to be written.  
> TBC...


End file.
